A recall

“It’s today, i came here last year, for the first time.”
Suchi, had a sip from the mud cup of about an inches, in volume and said softly.
I love every gestures of her, in every situation, she moreover adorns her self, just as i sketch in my conscience. It’s benevolent that, neither i couldn’t completely understand her till now, nor i am able to find how she can, in my case.
“yeah, and time just zapped out just like that”
I had another deep puff from the cigarrate, and clamoured “an omlet, fry it deep, am hungry dilip da”
“we made another good place for us too” i replied to her.
By the time we got intense in our discussion about life and recalling memories, it came to the end of twilight. The sky seemed red and burning, the clouds heavier and darker, the sun as if a ball of burning red magma been hanged on. We had a bunch of sunset memories till then, another one got it’s count. But the thing which gets changed every time we see after long intervals is the Ganges. I would preferably call it an unholy River, after the observation that i made from regular beholdings. The water level gets higher and higher, even the local people who lives in baghbazar also have same sayings.

One year back……….
I asked Suchi to meet me at Shyam Bazar, on a Saturday day, a couple of days after she arrived in town. We both were pretty excited to share up things with each other. It’s been four months she returned from her college. Right on time at four in the evening she gave a call after she got up in a bus and i got ready and kept waiting for the bus to come at the bus stand, near my home (that’s what the route to Shyam bazaar is through my home) and we met in there.
Traffic was slow because that’s the time when people comes back home from their office. But still we got right on time, before the sun was about to set. Its one of the same repeatable things i don’t find anything monotonous about, it’s splendid and beautiful.
Suchi and me, we both drink tea, and prefer it to be perfectly made, quite a few times a day. It’s refreshing and having absolutely no harm according to me. We got into a tea stall as usual. A nice, lively man, of around his late sixties, with a humble smile, asked us whether we are taking small cup of tea or a large cup, undoubtedly out of his experience he knew that we hold on there for tea and cigarrate. Every 10 rupees for a large tea are purely heavenly satisfying not only to the tongue, it hits right to the soul.I was hungry at the same time too, so was suchi, and demanded omelets. Which later became our staple at dilip da’s tea stall. He came and sat before me and asked how i was. He knew me from before had, cause there were a group of people who used to discuss about rock and roll and heavy metal music in that same stall and i was a part of them. We both had a nice adda with dilip da and her wife, till now its an essential for us, whenever she comes back here in holidays.

A Script from the Frontline

To my dear fate,

And now they are talking about about you, when uptight and determined to deploy. Instead of knowing my dad wont return or even survive at Warsaw , they sacrificed an important and experienced sergent from 1st battalion of the Russian infantry regiment. He did not fear death, rather used to cheer with death, every often.

Before his deployment, he visited us in a home front camp tent ,at Rzeszow, about 250kilometres from our home, where my mom and sister , neighbours and thousands of other people, and wounded soldiers and citizens used to live. I won’t even recognise my home and our locality cause it was bombed by the nazis, amid an air raid, and now almost levelled the town. We left home four months back in an horribly horrifying evening,on siren of danger, minutes before the raid started, i wont forget. Mom was downstairs cooking rotten potatoes because the food supply truck got bombed the week before, so we had to wait for the next week.Water was limited, and nearly impossible to fetch from the chemical concentrated poisonous water of the wells. So, potatoes were the only food and beverage also, to have. Mom and i used to boil the potatoes for bit longer time after getting boiled so that the juices come out which will give a bit relief to our thirsty throats, in heated winter.

Everyday at a particular time for a couple of hours, firing get ceased, and the only time to get out and arrange for the needs, or to meet people. On a time like that, when the war was on reassess, dad came, with a worried face, not i have seen in these years. His eyes full of hope, anger, strength and sorrow. Quite a lot hair turned white in these two years, since war. A stubborn mouth, bewildered to utter a word. He hold me tight, embraced me, broke into tears.

The last thing i remembered was smoke, debrises, sounds of terror from the sky and again black smokes. I was in the army hospital, our camp was air raided. I couldn’t see my family ever after.

With hope and love,
From
Yours Andrey

cascade of your hair

It’s not the first time I have been into darkness

Not withstanding , forgiveness amused being disguised

None but the worry of depart , srinked , parched , but my faculty of sight eludes from me

Critical perusal of my conscience , muttered in the sake of secrecy

Debt of reason , unanswered , mortified to myself

Running blind , captivated , posessed and charmed

Thundered in my subconcious ” I dream in my dream the dreams of the world “

Triggered or tortured , slaved or mutiliated

I did not fear death , I did not judge , I believed in my believes and rested on faith

Has not been the end of the end

On my left shoulder , nozzil of a rifel

Mesmerizes by the rage of severed reality

Tired bullets beholded misery , disruption and disaster

Earnestly declining from shel , to be freed

On my left shoulder , nozzil of a rifel

Its not the first time I have been into darkness

Remembered getting lost in the cascade of your hair

Faithful disguise

Since my conscience , all after me
Seeking the season of cold
Days
Here with my hour am conting me
Of the phases from the coltrane

Since i cant find the reason
As i have moved on so far
Hail on my being, i dusted my tears
Which dried up for decades and few months

I have no home, well i dont disguise
My sorrows wraped me from breezes
Although i had myself concerned with these
Am no one to find out the reasons

Let me break into the other side
Lets voyage upagainst the sea
On the bank of the river paradise
Set your sail off free…

Since i cant find the reason
As i have moved on so far
Hail on my being, i dusted my tears
Which dried up for decades and few months

I have no home, well i dont disguise
My sorrows wraped me from breezes
Although i had myself concerned with these
Am no one to find out the reasons

Let me break into the other side
Lets voyage upagainst the sea
On the bank of the river paradise
Set your sail off free…

Blurred

How could it be? Just a bottle of rum can’t drive me this much insane. I was immaculately drunk and while walking down the street, to my homewards, i lit up a joint, found rolled up in my shirt’s pocket. Without wasting a moment i fetched out a matchbox from the blue jeans i was wearing scribbled and the bottom cloth over feet got stained by mud.

It was a party from my batchmate of college who joined a new i.t company, i was returning from, at night around 2. 00a.m.A night of summer in june, along with full moon and sweat soaking, relievable breeze had some kind of overpowering trick i got trapped by. It was preety refreshing for me, the walk, turning on “mistreated by deep purple” on my mobile phone with earphone plugged it.The truck horns at times were getting into my nerves as they were so loud, that it seemed like it’s penetrating the sound waves through deep purple in my drums,and banging hard.I don’t exactly know when i returned home and fell asleep on my sofa.

Everytime when i get drunk like this, the next morning hits me being savage and embarrassing.I woke up at 7. A. M as usual and snatched the phone out of my jeans, which got a scratch from nowhere, hopefully it fell from my hand. But it was a disaster and a massive heart break hit hard when i called up my saloni, with whom am in a relationship from past 2 years. As per her, i called her up at 1.18 am and started with a normal conversation, though she knew by my voice that i was drunk eventually it may happen that i got angry by some words from her , but does not have any relevance on that, she told me. But i also agreed with her, cause i did not have any idea what happened as i did not remember a thing. The whole fault was mine. I calm myself down, cut the call and sit back, then rationally i went through what she said, and i again agreed with her, because this time i blamed myself, but how can i let this whole thing explain to her. Although why she will be responsible or be harassed for my reason of anger and getting drunk, i still feel guilty and ashamed. But i won’t be able to explain her things cause she won’t pardon me.

302 condemned

Set the fire, its your time now
Then patiently surrender, feel no contrite
Inauguration of ceremonial cremation,will begin on your count
Remorse to celebrate, bleed to grief

Through all the years, formation arrived
Ceased the trenches of thought
Being a creep, to whom i plead
Settled into untrust

Set the fire its your time now
Does we really care?
Ordered to unjust, restraining mass
Its your time to kill the lust

Am the one, will be there to deploy
Against all the conspires from hounds
Thrust you have now, seek peace
Condemnation, vigorous from us

Set the fire, its your time now
Then patiently surrender, feel no contrite
Inauguration of ceremonial cremation,will begin on your count
Remorse to celebrate, bleed to grief
Restitution, you made it done
Ambushed, by their will

Mind media warfare

Forgiveness means no relief anymore
Backstabbed by mind, being creep
Raptured innocence, expected crisis
Cruelty, ripping through my bones

Price shall be payed, fate not be blamed
Here only when its time
Hell when its time, must knock you
Keep chasing , to mug up your bluffs
Its not a fairy tail, going on around
Reality will certainly be rough

Elaborate theatres, on silver screen, programmed to dilute my thoughts
Sudden flashes of brain damaging broadcasts
panic, that all they want from us

Forgiveness means no relief anymore
Backstabbed by mind, being creep
Raptured innocence, expected crisis
Cruelty, ripping through my bones

Ruthless, sights now i get pleasure from
I dont like to cry,
murder and revenge, shaken me off
i chosen to be what i eyed
Lyrical propaganda well scripted tails
On radio, am counting demise
Propaganda, drilled in my ears
Its the era of lie……………

Forgiveness means no relief anymore
Backstabbed by mind, being creep
Raptured innocence, expected crisis
Cruelty, ripping through my bones

Being Together

“well here i present a phase craft ” Being Together”by me. Life of two different people,( Nikhil, aged – 23 and Suchi, aged-22), differently brought up, in the same city,both found and lost their lives.

This story is going to get it self presented in chronological phases like episodes, eventually, every week. ”

Prologue

. Charms aren’t dimmed

“I couldn’t embrace you, before you heaved lately for the last time. Shallow, golden as ever, sand pit did, what mother had to do, to her child with a pale lifeless body. I couldn’t resist myself from breaking down when your feathers curled and stiffened, too rigid to bring you back , but mother did. Amidst of our bustling life schedule, I often don’t try or bother to look after and care about you. You forgive me.”

“My tunnels, my canals, the bridges, the ridges, the whole of me doesn’t accept me now. Too bit complicated for sure to make words and expressions to manifest. But your death I behold, I felt in my veins, running madly, I regret, still by my window with the cigarette, softly burning towards me.”

Nikhil ” Am I getting too deep in depths? ” whispered to himself while Suchi was on the bed replied “You are deep with mother.” All these years Suchi was with Nikhil, the only person who insists, cease and love and aspire, according to Suchi betrayal is an essential essence of life, so she insisted Nikhil not to regret about the people who left him, for no logic of spiritual attrocities, rather to feed on them, the sorrowful minutes to experience an immaculate perseverance.

Now its been six years Suchi is with Nikhil making out with life, happier everyday from the past one. It was a surprise to her, that what kind of a guy would chose life to live over luxury and being corporate, which Nikhil was preparing for in university, mugging up business studies.
Suchi “You know why I decided to live with you Nikhil?”
“I chose life rather living on lies” Nikhil replied in a playful gesture, intimately whispered.

Suchi smoothly ran her fingres through his thick black hair, long and grungy while Nikhil quickly had his last puff from the fag which was safely burning in between his fingres, no exceptions on that very moment too. Nikhil’s, beard was something to get married to for Suchi, even he himself can’t deny it.

How can he forget his high school day, with ductail beard and certainly the extensive length of straightened beard stumbling down from just the middle of chin.

Now six years passed by, garibaldi took over ductail and certain sections of his coller length hair got curls, much interesting to stare at.

They never got tired of each other or got bored by their activities, even Suchi ‘s one of the favourite quotes from Nikhil’ s is ” I see you everyday as I never knew you before, in a new way with new wonders and mystics”.

Suchi used to stay out of town at her friend’s home a couple of years back, for a year. After five and a half month when Suchi came back in town for Nikhil to meet, Nikhil said this, which she demands to listen from Nikhil even today, the same way he said so that day. Everytime they talk old days, they don’t have to come across any chaos between each other, the time period runs blissfull and peaceful.

Phase ii is going to reveal it self soon………..

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